Asking for Help
“Great neighborhoods are built on reciprocal relationships, on two-way streets.”
Practice
Be humble. Be aware of the ways and areas you have need.
Be available. Be present in your place to create the margin of time to invite others in.
Be approachable. Show interest in your neighbors’ families, lives, and home projects.
Be grateful. A thank you note or text reinforces gratitude for a reciprocal relationship.
There’s an unfortunate perspective that being a good neighbor means you don’t bother anyone who lives near you. That’s not good neighboring. It reinforces the idea we are all autonomous and don’t need each other. Good neighbors have reciprocity in relationships. Good neighbors ask for help.
Asking for help requires humility. Humility is the ability to acknowledge an area of need, whether big or small. Humility is central to the Way of Jesus and counter to the way of the world. Asking a neighbor for help is being aware of our needs and one of our greatest needs is to live in community. Asking for help is a practice that cultivates humility in us.
The more neighbors ask each other for help, the less they feel insulated and isolated from each other. Asking for help is a way to build the social fabric in a neighborhood. The iconic barn raising by the Amish was core to creating a connected community. Most of us will never ask our neighbors to help us build a barn, but we can ask them to borrow a tool, bring in the mail, or babysit a child. There is a bond between people who serve each other. Every time you borrow a cup of sugar to make a cake, or a pickup truck to move a cabinet, you’re adding to the strength of relationships in your neighborhood.
Below are three simple ways to ask your neighbors for help. Even if you have not interacted with them often, you can ask. They may be pleasantly surprised at the new interaction, and hopefully, it begins to build a new relationship.
Would you watch our home while we’re out of town?
The simplest ask is for a neighbor to watch your place. Do not include a long list of chores, simply ask a neighbor to be aware that you are away, and to contact you if anything at your home goes wrong while you are away. Offer to do the same for when they travel.
Could I borrow a tool?
Some neighbors have an entire tool shop in their garage. Most are happy to let others benefit from their investment. Return the tool in the same condition as you received it. You might also ask for help with the project you need the tool for. You’re not asking them to be your general contractor. But if you need help installing a light fixture, ask for help.
Do you have an ingredient I need?
Asking a neighbor for a cup of sugar, an egg, or a stick butter is the quintessential request. It creates a special connection like few other requests. Instead of the 20 minutes to go the store for a single ingredient, take the risk of asking a neighbor for help. And afterwards, always bring them a serving.
One of the most important ways to practice loving your neighbors is asking them for help.
