Civility
Practice
Listen as intently as you speak. Practice active listening and consider briefly summarizing what you heard to ensure understanding.
Focus on issues, not individuals. Dig into the substance of the problem, and if you disagree, disagree with the idea, not the person.
Distinguish between fact and opinion. Seek clarity on both while being considerate of others' opinions. It’s okay to agree to disagree; make sure to understand the fundamental points of differences.
Get curious instead of furious. Strive to manage your emotions in the moment. If you notice yourself getting upset, pause, and take a breath before speaking.
Acknowledge knowledge. When someone makes a logical or interesting point, acknowledge it. Embrace a continuous learning mindset by staying open to new ideas and facts to expand your understanding.
Own your intentions and your impact. Our words and behaviors may not reflect our intent to those receiving them. Value and prioritize honesty and goodwill while striving to solve problems.
Seek common ground. Build bridges by prioritizing shared values and goals. Strive to find commonalities and shared understanding.
Be a role model. We’re in this together. We can’t control others’ behaviors, just our own.
“Civility is not a tactic or a sentiment. It is the determined choice of trust over cynicism, of community over chaos.”
“What practice do people need to love their neighbors and neighborhoods during an election?” I asked former Englewood Mayor and City Council member Linda Olson. She replied clearly and concisely, “Civility.”
The following principles about the practice of civility are excerpts from a work by Linda for the Colorado Municipal League. She generously shared her wisdom about what is needed to cultivate civility.
Our democracy, which is lived out at the local level, depends on hearing and understanding our community’s different voices, needs, and aspirations. Most agree that civility is not about agreement nor plain politeness. It is about listening deeply, refraining from demonizing, and working toward better understanding. Few challenges faced by local leaders are more important than managing the destructive effects of incivility, as it can undermine effective decision-making, erode community trust, and hinder one’s ability to serve the public good. Imagine communities transformed by civil discourse — more engaged, more collaborative, more invested in the future of Colorado.
Civility is the steadfast practice of respect, even in disagreement, that fosters constructive dialogue and connection, recognizing the inherent dignity of every person. While a definition provides a clear understanding, the true essence of civility lies in its application.
The following guiding principles illustrate how civility translates into practical actions. These principles serve as a foundation for respectful dialogue. It takes courage for us to self-reflect, self-correct, and inspire others to build a political culture of trust.
Thank you to Linda Olson for allowing her work on civility to be edited for this article. Dr. Linda Olson has dedicated 23 years to teaching leadership, community change, and ethics at the University of Denver. She has served on Englewood City Council and as Mayor of Englewood.
